A Friend Goes to a Kingdom Hall

My good friend Nick and his roommate Ray, also a dear friend of mine, took a trip to a Kingdom Hall in their area today. Both of them are outstanding Christian apologists in the making, and seminarians to boot, and while they typically specialize a bit more in evangelical-LDS dialogue, they saw fit to branch out somewhat here. I'd encourage all of my readers--okay, that's probably about zero, but still...--to read Nick's account here. He raises some very insightful points regarding spontaneity, music, and the use of Scripture. Much of what he says is also reflected in my own experience. For the most part, spontaneity is anathema; absolute uniformity in the guise of "orderly worship" is the rule; and things must above all be simple. As Nick writes:

At Mormon meetings, there is at least some spontaneity. You do not know exactly what will happen, but when the Witnesses follow in their books, they really follow in their books. 95% of the time, you can tell what the answer to the question is going to be because they are getting it right out of the book. I realized at that point why our Witnesses are so surprised with the answers my roommate and I give. We treat them as discussion topics. The Witnesses do not.

To this I have only to say that I think 95% is a generously low figure! As Nick goes on to say, the material is all roughly at a sixth-grade reading level. Now, if you ask one of Jehovah's Witnesses about this, they'll say that the goal is to keep the gospel message pure and simple so that even the simple can grasp it. And you'll probably get a few anecdotes about cases in which people whom they met in their door-to-door ministry found even these simplified materials to be vastly over their head. The sad thing is, that's probably true! It's a demonstrable fact that, if you follow the progression of their "Bible-based study aids", they get more and more dumbed down as time goes on. "Millennial Dawn"/"Studies in the Scriptures" were VASTLY more complex; even Let God Be True was leaps beyond, e.g., What Does the Bible Really Teach?. And while I can understand the need to have a simple presentation for those who can only receive milk, as it were, there are two important points. First, the questions don't need to be this ridiculously simple! Where's the challenge? There isn't any, and by sticking so close to the text of the study aid, there ceases to be any need for actual thought. The answer flows directly from the paragraph through the person and out of their mouth. But there can scarcely be much growth unless somewhere in the middle, some processing occurs--analysis and synthesis of ideas and data, critical reflection, anything! And second, while it seems that the milk approach is wise towards new initiates, what of those with greater capacity and hunger? Where's their meat? It certainly won't be soon forthcoming from the "faithful and discreet slave class", from the looks of things. This is my criticism of many churches today, and it applies equally here: nothing beyond the milk. The problem is that many, both orthodox Christians and Jehovah's Witnesses, have been fooled into believing that curdled milk IS meat.

Nick also offered some interesting reflections on the musical quality there. Now, for my part, I've heard a lot of their music by this point. I even have the lyrics for the current songbook on CD-ROM (which means that if Nick can recall the song numbers or titles, I'd be glad to provide him with the content). So far, I can't say I've noticed that the music has any particular brainwashing effect, any more than hymns... but the music does have a peculiarly canned quality. Perhaps Ray could provide some details of the analysis; he's the musician out of the three of us, after all. And Nick's right that the song titles scarcely reflect Jesus, although admittedly Jesus is prominent in the lyrics to many. Indeed, it's rather famously known that Jehovah's Witnesses actually boast in this subversion:

In the songbook produced by Jehovah's people in 1905, there were twice as many songs praising Jesus as there were songs praising Jehovah God. In their 1928 songbook, the number of songs extolling Jesus was about the same as the number extolling Jehovah. But in the latest songbook of 1984, Jehovah is honored by four times as many songs as is Jesus. This is in harmony with Jesus' own words: "The Father is greater than I am." (John 14:28) Love for Jehovah must be preeminent, accompanied by deep love for Jesus and appreciation of his precious sacrifice and office as God's High Priest and King. (Revelation--Its Grand Climax at Hand!, p. 36, box)

Nick also makes strong points about the way Jehovah's Witnesses approach the Scriptures. As I've noted previously, it seems often that the "study aid" is dominant, not the Bible. True, Scriptural reference does saturate their writing through and through, but this approach allows the "faithful and discreet slave" to completely direct them. And while Jehovah's Witnesses would undoubtedly see that as a good thing, it poses serious problems because it decidedly subordinates Scripture to the "new light" from Brooklyn. You will never see one of Jehovah's Witnesses sit down to do a Bible study on a book of the Bible unless the Watchtower has already provided a commentary--and even then, the study aid takes precedence. Now, it is true that Jehovah's Witnesses cover a wide range of Scripture. Where many evangelical churches will have difficulty keeping a fairly even range, I find that Jehovah's Witnesses do manage to avoid falling prey to that particular problem. And from that we can perhaps learn something. But they escape one snare only to find another problem--or, to express it more Scripturally:

It will be darkness and no light, just as when a man flees because of the lion, and the bear actually meets him; and [as when] he went into the house and supported his hand against the wall, and the serpent bit him. (Amos 5:18b-19, NWT)

Now, I will say that I am perhaps more optimistic than Nick when it comes to the possibility that Jehovah's Witnesses will, in the end, be saved after all. They are, for sure, a heretical sect who teach a number of false doctrines and fail to sufficiently honor Christ and the Scriptures. Might they still be saved? I think it quite possible. I wouldn't wager $20 on it... but I have hope. But that false doctrine must still be denounced, and I think it would be a spiritually healthy decision--to say the least!--for any of them to depart from the Kingdom Halls and enter instead the orthodox faith.

Nick ends on a note of challenge, and I can do no better than quote his words:

These people are going door-to-door constantly. They are always training for this. What are you going to do? Are you going to be ready to give them the good news when they come. The news that they need to learn that is contrary to what they heard of what they must do to remain in Jehovah’s love? Are you ready to be as true to the true gospel as Jehovah’s Witnesses are to a false gospel?

May God's people answer with a resounding "Yes, and more so!" Amen, Lord. Amen.

So yes, please go read Nick's account.

Revenge of the Kingdom Hall - A Lord's Evening Meal Memorial Service

My friend Daniel couldn't make it--something came up with his internship--and so my mother and I went there. Took about 20 minutes to get there from here, and we arrived just a few minutes before the start of everything. It looked very full at first, but then I realized that it was because barely anyone was seated yet; everybody was milling around socializing in the aisles and behind the seats.

One of the first people we ran into was Mephibosheth, whom I hadn't seen in ages. After some brief chit-chat, I spied Shem about halfway across the room, but before we could get there, we ran into a few more JWs who wanted to welcome us, and then Uriah caught up. After a minute or so of conversation, in which he promised to forward me an video clip he'd mentioned receiving from the JW whom we'd just met.

Anyway, the two of us sat by the wall, about 2/3 of the way back. A woman in the row in front of us (let's call her "Atarah"; she'll resurface in the narrative) passed us a large copy of Sing Praises to Jehovah, while a woman in our own row passed over a New World Translation; I'd forgotten mine at home because I hadn't thought I'd need it.

The service began with, after an introductory prayer, a song: #87 in the songbook, "The Lord's Evening Meal" (lyrics here). Then began the beginning of the "talk" (which is the term preferred by JWs to "sermon" or "message"), delivered by a Witness whom I'll call "Gideon". It was, at least at first, rather unobjectionable. Gideon began by hearkening back to the original Passover, and between this and the language in the song, one couldn't possibly forget how Quartodeciman the JWs are. The talk proceeded to raise the question of why Christ had to die, and thus went back to the story of Adam and the Fall in order to set the stage for Christ's death. Eventually, however, Gideon got to the issue of the 144,000. It was interesting to see the rather loose pastiche of Scripture texts that got connected to 'show' the distinction between the elite class--Gideon remarked that one could expect them to be extremely devout followers of Christ, and said that they knew who they were based on the testimony of holy spirit--and the rest of us there. Thus, he explained that the new covenant is solely for those 144,000 who have the "heavenly hope", although Jehovah likewise loves all those who have the "earthly hope". The emblems, however, are exclusively for the anointed class. (And I'm pretty sure that Gideon made a bit of a boo-boo while talking about the emblems; I think he said that the unleavened bread is appropriate for symbolizing Christ's body, which is "sinful and pure", whereas he was supposed to say "sinless and pure".) Gideon eventually turned to the issue of what we can do to please God, first addressing those who aren't baptised Witnesses (Bible study!!) and then those who are at that point. The talk ended with an announcement that was eventually drafted by folks back at HQ, basically thanking us all for being there and inviting us to consider a home Bible study.

(If you go here and scroll down to geevee's post, you can see an old outline for the 2003 memorial talk; looking it over, that's essentially the same talk that Gideon delivered.)

During the talk, it came time for the passing of the emblems. Since the seating area of the Kingdom Hall has three sections of seats with two aisles, four JWs (including Uriah and Shem) walked from the front to the back, passing the emblems much as some churches might do the offering plate. First came the plate of unleavened bread, which was passed from hand to hand from the aisle to the edge of the section and then back. Second came the clear glass of red wine. No one partook--after all, as Gideon noted in his talk, as of last year fewer than 0.05% of attendees at these memorial services are of the 144,000. I may not be an insider, so perhaps its unfair for me to pass this judgment, but I know that the spiritual significance struck me as significantly less than in churches in which people actually partake of the eucharist.

The service finally concluded with a last song and a closing prayer. The final song was #105 from the songbook, "Hail God's Firstborn" (lyrics here). There were a few places in which I had to simply keep silent, such as the reference in the first verse to Jesus being created ("Let's hail Jehovah's firstborn, / God's heir he has been made, / who since he was created, / his Father's voice obeyed").

After the service ended, we got greeted by a number of other folks, but mostly got to talking to Atarah... who turned out to be Uriah's wife! Better yet, she and my mother grew up together. mother hadn't recognized her, but Atarah recognized my mother immediately, so they got to talking for a while, and Atarah jokingly offered me the dirt on my mom for a fee. And then another JW came up to my mother and said she recognized her, too--from K-Mart, where she hasn't worked in 18 years! Meanwhile, Uriah and I got to chatting about how there must've been something weird in the water where they grew up. It was a fun, long conversation. Uriah got a laugh out of me on a few occasions:

• He figured 13 years ago, when he became a JW, that there'd be at most 18 years 'til the end of the world... because by that time, those dratted teenagers with the funny clothes would be old enough to be in charge of things.
• He doesn't like to think about his family history, because "if you go back a few generations they're Mennonites, and that's just embarassing".

Anyway, we ended up being some of the last people to leave, such that there were some people coming in as we were going out. (Two congregations in the area have to share a single Kingdom Hall, so they hold two Lord's Evening Meal memorial services on Nisan 14th; I was at the earlier one.) And that, in essence, is my account.

A Trip to the Local Kingdom Hall

After church today, my best friend Daniel dropped by, and we embarked on... well, it turned out to be quite an adventure of a road trip, considering how navigationally impaired we both are. We discussed a variety of things during the course of it, ranging from N. T. Wright to career plans to interpretations of Romans. But we finally made our way to the nearest Kingdom Hall just in time for the Jehovah's Witnesses' meeting. Hence, having paid a visit, I can now give some reflections. First of all, everyone was extremely warm and friendly. Frankly, it quite nearly made me ashamed at how cold and impersonal even my own church seems in comparison--and there are very many loving, outgoing folks in my congregation. Of course, the Witnesses were few in number--83 folks were in attendance today--and it was quite clear that neither Daniel nor myself were from among their number. I'd brought my New World Translation; Daniel didn't have anything. After being greeted by at least ten people and engaged in conversation, we found some available seats. Finally, it was time for the weekly 'Bible talk', delivered by "Uriah", the JW who had for a long time been visiting me sporadically, and who had extended the invitation for today's talk. He did a very excellent job with the speech, which really wasn't terribly objectionable. It began, though, in an unexpected way. To paraphrase: "You remember the good old days? Our grandparents remember the good old days too, and so do our parents, but they're an entirely different set of good old days? So how can they all be the good old days? Well, the world keeps getting worse and worse." The talk went on to highlight five major areas in which all human governments inevitably fail but in which Jesus succeeds, with illustrations from the Scriptures. There was even a bit of democracy-bashing, the sort Daniel and I were unused to in church. Of course, the both of us are more-or-less monarchists, of a sort, so we were fairly pleased. There was also an interesting point at which it was said (to paraphrase, perhaps): "This isn't true just because I'm saying it. This isn't true just because the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is saying it. It's true because the Bible says it." (Of course, the verse in question was actually a quotation from Satan during Jesus' temptation in the wilderness, which made me laugh a bit inside.)

Anyway, after the Bible talk came the first hymn (they would've called it a 'song'), #172 in the hymnal Sing Praise to Jehovah. Daniel and I both looked around for such a book, but neither of us could find one; evidently, the JWs each have their own. The woman in front of us, thankfully, was kind enough to let us borrow hers, while she shared with her husband. The hymn was actually very good. Better, in my personal opinion, than a lot of the songs from my church. The Scriptural theme of the song was Psalm 2. After this came... well, a curious thing for which I'm not sure I have a name. Each week, evidently, they go over an article in the latest issue of The Watchtower. This week's was about Jesus as the "greatest missionary", being sent from heaven by Jehovah to compassionately teach the people. The majority of the article was unobjectionable, although one could see beneath the surface a notion of Christ as a created being, as the archangel Michael. The Kingdom Hall meetings use a study edition of The Watchtower, with numbered paragraphs and questions in footnotes. One man read a paragraph or two at a time; then he stopped and another man in the "pulpit" area asked the question from the footnotes, and called on people who raised their hands. Two men took microphones around to everyone, and often quite a bit of time was spent on each question. It was... well, a tad boring. The questions were very, very simple, sometimes capable of being answered perfectly in a single word, and the people answering often seemed to use the same words as in the paragraph, as if it were soaking into them. Very strange. 'Course, then I was struck by a frightening thought: most Bible studies I've seen have been even less intelligent than the discussion we found there. Also, on one page of the article, there was a picture of Jesus teaching a crowd, and we paused to analyze the facial expressions of the people. As it turns out, Daniel and I both have interpretive instincts very contrary to what the JWs had. The drawing rather amused me, though. Finally, after working through the rest of the article, there was one last song (#72) which included a reference to us all going door-to-door witnessing. Well, that was a tad awkward... but I think that the whole experience, especially those songs, made me really understand better what life might be like through JW eyes. There finally came a prayer, led by Uriah, and finally we were dismissed. There was much more conversation to come, of course; probably about six or seven other people introduced themselves to us, and we got to talk to folks for a while before finally making our way to Uriah and chatting with him a bit. He'll be keeping in touch, and hopefully we'll get to start having more study-oriented meetings once June begins.

I found that a few key words kept cropping up as distinctives: "Jehovah". "Kingdom". "Theocracy". "Organization". "Governing Body". "Training". "Christendom", once. And in place of the typical "accept Christ as your personal savior" bit that most modern churches churn out, there was a replacement phrase along the lines of "accept Jesus as the reigning king". A superior phrasing, if you ask me. The songs also refused to simply gloss over notions of divine judgment; such was quite clearly retained, even if perhaps a bit disturbing at times in connection with the soft, almost cheery tune of the music itself. The JWs were quite obviously eager to have Daniel and myself return to visit again sometime, preferably soon. And I do think that, someday, I would enjoy visiting on another Sunday. It was... a very different experience. One both foreign and familiar, alien and human. Seeing everyone milling about in conversation, people of all ages, even little children darting around in the aisles under the affectionate watch of adults... it was a very human sort of thing, one that could take place in any church, one that's at home in any church. The hymns were beautiful, the prayers were exalted and--I dare say--a bit more Christocentric than those in many Trinity-affirming congregations. The speech was unobjectionable, and--aside from a few overly negative aspersions on political participation--would have actually made a rather suitable sermon in any church, better than many I've heard. In the course of the service, I could definitely sense a perception of superiority over "Christendom". Christendom's agents are lazy and short on faith, but Jehovah's Witnesses give their own time and work to spread the gospel, paying for their own transportation and facing apathy and prejudice on a regular basis. Christendom's missionaries get involved in local politics and lose sight of the gospel, but Jehovah's Witnesses are genuinely focused on serving God alone and spreading nothing but the good news. That sort of thing.

At any rate, Daniel and I had quite the experience once we left there, headed back to my house, grabbed my stuff, and headed back up to college. For one, Daniel kept missing the roads we were supposed to take, and sometimes we'd have to spend five minutes going the wrong way and having no clue. We actually got into a bit of an accident on the way back. Some mentally defective bloke decided to make a three-point turn in the 55-mph section of a major road, and when we swerved to avoid him, we realized that there was a car parked at the side of the road, so we were basically forced to drive off the road and, well, into a tree. Daniel's car only got a minor dent, and I was pretty much laughing hysterically, but that's because I'm insane. We eventually made it to the right town in one piece, stopped to split a large pizza at the local pizza shop (ran into another of our friends there and had to spend some time annoying her, too), and ended at campus. It's good to have a best friend as strange as Daniel.